Thursday, October 31, 2013

THE DUMB SUPPER

I’ve followed, studied, questioned, participated, observed, bled, sang, learned, changed, grown with Magick, spirituality, the occult for the majority of my life. I’ve looked at it from every angle I could wrap my head around, delved into different aspects of Shamanism and found those things that are personal and private to me. I practice in individual expression and belief as opposed to “organized religion” and am convinced that for everyone, there is a unique way of seeing the Universe that should be pursued and celebrated.
Samhainn, Samhuinn, Samhain is one of four mid season festivals on the witches wheel of holidays of which there are eight total. The Veil between the world of mortals and the after life, spirit realm, the dream road is at it’s thinnest at this time of the year. Ancestral worship is very strong for many different traditions. Worship meaning something more akin to respect. Many years ago I learned of a ritual called, “The Dumb Supper” and decided that I wanted to try it. You prepare the best food with great care, thinking on those in your life that you have loved and lost. I’ve incorporated things like listening to their favorite music, cooking their favorite foods, having pictures of them out. Sometimes I have it outside, weather permitting.
I start my dumb suppers around nine on All Hallows. A decorative altar is made up, things that I have of those past sitting on it. One year my brother included the hat that he had inherited from my grandfather, I have jewelry my grandmother wore. The place setting for the meal can be anything from paper plates to the best china. Magick done with positive intent is largely intuitive and individual.
When dinner is served, you make a plate for your loved ones, as well as set a place for them, leaving them a seat too. When I sit for the meal, I do not speak, which is where the expression “dumb” comes from, meaning mute and not meant in a negative way. You stay silent during the remainder of the meal. I have done this with groups of people before and always it’s interesting to see how people react to the silence alone. The first group dumb supper I did erupted into a full blown food fight near the end of the meal, which than evolved into midnight margaritas. I stole that idea from the film, ‘Practical Magic.’ That’s become a yearly tradition for me: The contemplation and silence of those who have gone before me, ancestors, friends, even beloved animals, the preparation of food and place settings, building the altar, eating, followed by midnight celebration‘s that generally involve a fire pit, music and dance.
I once had a dumb supper with just one friend of mine and I invited a cat that I had lost earlier in the year to come eat with us without telling her any specific’s about it. Once we sat down to eat and meditate in quite she began sneezing and her eyes swelled up. Afterward she told me that she was allergic to cats and that’s what it felt like, that there was a cat with us, but there were none. I believe it was the Universe’s way of letting me know that my cat friend was there.
Magick is very particular. Be careful what you wish for is not just a saying, it’s words to live by. Things can manifest themselves in strange ways. So it’s best to be very specific about what you want.
While Harry Potter was a lovely fictional story and very respectful to the ideas of Magick, obviously we don’t live in a world where Magick is that flashy. I find it’s much more subtle.
If I remember correctly my first dumb supper was in 1993. I say that realizing now that was 20 years ago and feeling a bit of nostalgia. It was just me in a small apartment in Burbank California, nothing close to nature anywhere near me. It’s grown into something intensely personal and very comforting. It’s a time when you can acknowledge those that have brought meaning to your life in the past. I find it very healing at times, occasionally hilarious and very moving. I always feel exhilarated afterward and sometimes I’ve felt the presence of those that have past so very strongly that it makes me sad all over again. For me it’s worth it.
Many times we are unable to honor the passing of our loved ones directly after their passing for obvious reasons, the pain. When the grief is too near, you don’t really have time to remember them and the happiness they brought you or the wisdom they instilled in us. All that exists is about making arrangements, getting through the death ritual, whatever it may be. With a dumb supper you get to say things that need said, not out loud, at least not while eating. We exist because of our ancestors. We are who we are because of the people and creatures that we have known and loved, it’s a wonderful feeling to acknowledge that, even if there are a few tears.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

TRUE GHOST STORIES: EPISODE ONE

When I was a child the real horror story was growing up with a mother who was mentally ill and an alcoholic and absent father.  My main play mates were my dead sister and Mr. Nobody, see previous blog, they kept me safe and entertained.  I was often warned by them not to pick up certain snakes, to stay away from the rushing river or to go play in the mud puddles when it thunder stormed.  (That last one I’ve never managed to shake as I love to play in the mud in torrential summer thunder storms if I’m out in the country.)  So when I was young I thought seeing the dead was a natural thing and I actually still believe that as an adult.  I had to go through the phase of learning that that actually made you a freak in most persons eyes and opinions.  ‘The Sight’ as it’s called by my mother and many others was a curse and blessing at the same time.   When paranormal creatures realize you can see them, they will be attracted to you and often make their presence known.  I’ve had many experiences in my life that gave me knowledge of things that were unknown to most.  Some were cool, many were horrifying and I am very thankful that I had a child protectorate for many things when I was very young.
I was never frightened of skeletons, black cats, witches, or ghosts, they all seemed very real and very natural to me.  It’s the living that frighten me, always have.  One day while I was over at a fellow ‘Brownie’s’ house my mother came running in and took me home.  She told me a very bad man was loose in the area and they were advising everyone to bring their children inside and lock the doors.  So that’s what we did.  I remember the fear rolling off of her, it was almost palpable to me as I was an extremely sensitive child.  After a while  my mother went to take a shower and she told me not to open the door for any strangers.  She disappeared and sure enough, moments later there was a knock on the door.  Our front room looked out on our porch where they were standing and our curtains were pulled because of the cercumstances. I slipped between the curtains and the wall studying the man on the porch closely and concluded that I indeed did not know him.  Right as I realized this man was a stranger my sister, my dead sister, grabbed my dress and yanked me to my knees, telling me to hide underneath the couch and so I did.  There was fear rolling off of her too.  I remember her fear, but more than anything, I  remember the forceful yank of her tiny hand that brought me to my knees and out of sight of whomever was on the porch.  I’d never been able to feel her physically before and it startled me a little, but I wasn’t scared of her,  I was scared of the man on the porch.
He left or at least, he was gone when my mother returned from her shower.  I don’t remember where my brother, my living brothers, were, probably with my father as the parents were divorced by than.  The mom had to coax me out from under the couch at that time.  Later that evening she was doing the dishes and I was sitting on the floor in front of the tv which was turned to the news so she could listen.  Even though I wasn’t an only child, my brothers never wanted to play with me because I was so young, so I had to find ways to entertain myself.  That’s something I’m still very good at, in fact, I don’t believe in boredom.  The news was showing pictures of the man that had been on the porch and I called to my mom.   “That’s him!  Moooooooom!  Look look!”  I was six.  She came into the room wiping her hands off on her apron and looked at me curiously.  “That’s t he man from that knocked earlier mom.”  Pointed to the TV and I’d never seen my mother so pale before.  She just grabbed me and squeezed a little too hard and asked me to look again just to make sure.  I was sure...

    “One of the killers asked the victims if they had any money or guns.  Yes, to both questions.  One gang member pocketed the money, about $30, while another located a rifle and bent the barrel in the toilet.  Then Roger Clay Drollinger walked behind each of the teen-aged boys who were on the trailer floor, tapped each one on the foot, and asked, "How old are you, son?"  "How old are you, boy?"  After that, he ordered his cohorts to turn off their flashlights and put them aside.  Four shotguns boomed repeatedly, blasting the brains and blood and life out of the four boys on the floor.  But Betty Spencer's wig saved her life.  A few pellets grazed her scalp, and her wig flew off.  The killers thought her life had gone with it.  But as one of her sons died, she heard his blood gurgle out as he slowly and faintly whispered, "Oh God, I'm flying . . . Oh God, I'm flying."

    Leaving the grisly, blood-splattered, scene the Drollinger gang decided to take one of the new cars parked outside.  With two gang members in that car and two in the rented Opel, they drove for several miles and then left the stolen car at the side of the road with the keys in the ignition.  The killers laughed as they abandoned the car, planning and hoping someone else would take it, get caught by police, and end up facing murder charges.

    The next morning Roger Drollinger appeared in court in Crawfordsville to testify in his drug trial, acting as though nothing at all had happened the night before.”

There was a nation wide man hunt for Roger Clay Drollinger, last seen in Crawfordsville, Indiana, where I was born and lived at the time, between the “St. Valentine’s Day Massacre” and Easter in the late winter, early spring of 1977.  He was the man on our porch.  To this day I can feel the fear from my mother and sister and I will never forget his face.

(footnotes:  
1)article@ http://occasionaljustice.com/Drollinger.html
2)http://www.antiquesnavigator.com/ebay/images/2013/350891079332.jpg)

Monday, October 28, 2013

MR. NOBODY

        

        When I was a child I spent my play time in the woods playing with my dead sister and my ‘imaginary friend’ named Mr. Nobody.   My sister looked just like me, but Mr. Nobody, he was a skeleton with top hat and tails.  How many two year olds do you know that would make up a friend like that?  I have vivid recollections of what he looked like, how he moved and laughed.  Once when I grew to close to the river he bade me come back toward him and I did.  It seemed he was always looking after me.  
My brothers are five and seven years older than I am and when you’re little that age made a huge difference.  When they did look after me they taught me how to pick up snakes and crawdads.   I was fearless and out to impress the brothers of course because my family was my whole world than.   They were often too busy to watch me or too cool to play with me, but I was never alone.  Mr. Nobody and my sister were always there.
I talked about them too, after a while my family got tired of me ‘lying’ all the time.  Once on a family trip between Indiana and Pennsylvania for a family reunion, my mother decided to ‘get rid’ of Mr. Nobody once and for all.  She decided that we left him at a Sohio Gas Station and continually reinforced the idea any time I brought him up.  It was a somewhat traumatic experience, but I was already getting used to those by the age of four.   Something DID happen, because I seemed to loose my ‘sight’ a bit after that.  I didn’t see him anymore and I only felt my sister, I didn’t see either one of them again, not for a long time.
My parents divorced when I was four, my father abandoning my brothers and I to live with a mentally ill mother.     When I was five my mother told me that my grandmother, my fathers mother, had died and that I couldn’t go see my dad because he was going to the funeral.  Well, I was maybe six or seven and I had no idea how to act around death so I never said anything to my dad about it.  The next time I went to visit my father, the phone rang and I was the only one around.  When I picked up the phone it was my grandmother, the same one that was supposed to be dead.  I learned that the woman I trusted more than anyone in my whole world was a liar and that I couldn’t trust her.  If I couldn’t trust my own mother, I couldn’t trust anyone, not to my way of thinking.  So I withdrew a great deal into myself.  
At the age of eight I started writing regularly on my front porch, it’s a habit I never broke.  If I live somewhere with a front porch, it’s my favorite journaling area.  Writing was a means of escape from a continually decreasing and unhealthy family life.  My mother was physically and emotionally abusive.  Though I do not doubt that she had very little control over it due to her deteriorating mental health, that means nothing to a child.  I felt trapped.  The many years that I lived with her were very hard and they shaped my life into something unpleasant. 
  When I was eight my mother’s second husband died from cancer.  The night he died, she and I had almost the exact same dream that he came into our rooms and said goodbye.  I was horribly guilt ridden and in silence about it, because I hated him and I wished him dead.  So of course I believed it was my fault and I never told anyone that until I was well into my twenties.  In hindsight my mother was the first to remarry and I villianized him because of it.  He was a kind man and didn’t deserve the way I treated him, so that was another mind fuck I bared alone, from lack of anyone I trusted.  The morning after his death my mother and I were talking about our dreams of him.  At that point I also brought up the fact that I have seen the dead before because I used to play with my sister, who looked exactly like me.  She went extremely pale and proceeded to tell me that I had been a twin, but they didn’t want to tell me for fear of it influencing me in a negative way.
I was weird.  I stuck my nose in a book and rarely came out for anything except choir.  I read Stephen King when other little girls were reading Harlequin Romances, I listened to punk and alternative music when bubble gum pop was all the rave with the girls.  At the age of eleven my oldest brother escaped to college, my other brother started dating his lifetime wife and found religion.  He stayed away as much as possible.  In fact I felt completely abandoned by both of them.  After they both left for college I was alone with my mother for six years in that house.  My madness was her madness, it was a hell I don’t talk about and have a lot of lost time for that period of my life.    In high school I was punk and weird, they were izod wearing snobtastic future republicans.  Through out all these years my sight came and went, I had some very powerful experiences that convinced me I was either mad, like my mother, or there were a lot of things in the Universe that I didn’t understand.   I read everything I could about the paranormal, spirituality and witchcraft, these are passions that I still study to this day, thirty plus years later.   At fourteen I dedicated myself to the Wicca path under the light of the full moon and it felt completely natural to me.  I am pure Celt in my ancestry down to my red hair and blue eyes.  I was drawn to study the Celtic traditions and adorned myself in Celtic jewelry and clothes.  The Goddess Brigid was the main deity that I affiliated with.  There had been failed attempts at raising me as an Episcopalian, but Christianity never made sense to me and it still doesn’t.  The best thing that ever came from Church for me was meeting my life long friend in Sunday school.
I know you’re sitting there thinking that this is supposed to be about Mr. Nobody and I haven’t mentioned him in several paragraphs.  My relationship with him is extremely personal and tied into all of this.  
In my early 20’s I was a shining and healthy person, obviously flourishing from living on my own and no longer weighed down by my oppressive and sick mother.  I went to visit my oldest brother once and I was looking through  his books.  At the age of seven I was introduced to the world of D&D and my love for it never went away.   The book I was looking through was an extension of a table top game.   When I sat down, the book fell open immediately to a page with a picture of skeleton with a top hat and tails on.  It was Mr. Nobody, he was my ‘Drop Dead Fred’ friend and my heart sort of rose into my throat.  I even said to my brother, “Look, it’s Mr. Nobody.’  
I have vividly detailed memories of what he looked like when I was a child, how he was animated like any other living creature is solidified in my memory like something out of a CGI film today.  He was never imaginary to me.  I still felt a loss at having been separated from him.  When I looked at the picture more closely, the description beneath the picture said, Baron Samedi.  If you were a two year old and someone told you his name was Baron Samedi, don’t you think Nobody sounds incredibly similar?  Well I did.  I was extremely perplexed by it all and began to do research.  Research is my first stop whenever I want to learn about anything.  The strangest thing of all to me was that Samedi is a Loa of the Voodoun faith, a faith that I had never felt any connection to personally.  So how was this entity attached to me and why?  I invited him back into my life and asked him to help me discover the answers I was so curiously looking for.  
Over the next few months, several very important things happened.  My mother gave me a box a pictures and keep sakes that she had saved for me.  In it was a copy of my baptism, the script and everything.  I was baptized Catholic on November 1st, 1970.  There are a few very peculiar things about this fact.  I was raised Episcopalian, not Catholic.   For some there may not be much of a difference, but from my fathers very Irish Catholic side of the family, there was a HUGE difference.  The other strange thing about it all was that Baron Samedi’s holy day is November 1st, AND, get this, he was, is, the protector of children and the Voodoo Loa of the Dead.  The Voodoo religion was, is, a mish mosh of spiritual African practices  and Catholicism.   Apparently I was baptized Catholic to appease my grandmother who was a devout Irish Catholic to her dieing day.  
Whenever I was with Mr. Nobody as a child, my sister was always there.   I’ve always had ‘the sight,’  just like my mother.  The difference between a psychic and a psychotic being the ability to shield yourself from the other worldly.   I was beginning to believe it was because of these two or that they, at least, had something to do with it.  He is the protector of children and the dead?  He protected me and my sister and I believe he still does.  
The next miraculous clue was so profound, I still remember it in vivid detail.  My oldest brother and I went to visit our brother and his family near Chicago.  While there we went to the Natural History Museum.  As my oldest brother and I walked up the steps there was a huge banner proclaiming the traveling exhibit about the History of Voodoo was there for a limited time and we just looked at each other in disbelief, and yes, at this point, he was aware of what was happening with the Baron and myself.  Needless to say I B-Lined it to the exhibit and was ready to devour every bit of knowledge I could about it.   When I came to the case about the Baron I read everything, scoured all the artifacts with my eyes and just as I was about to move on I noticed in tiny print at the bottom, the Barons consort/wife is said to be the Saint Brigit who was originally modeled after the Goddess Brigid to convert the heathens of the countryside to Catholicism.  The Goddess Brigid, if you remember, is the Goddess I felt most affiliated to and often prayed to, danced to, made altars to, etc.  I stood there in stunned silence for a long time.  I still have never felt very connected to the path of Voodoo, but the Baron and I are inexplicably linked.
This all brought the Baron and I back together, not that he ever left, but I had stopped seeing him for those many years do to my mothers child psychology crap.  I have worked with and honored him in many ways since these discoveries.  He is intricately linked to my sister and myself as we are to one another.  There were too many things that linked us, too many instances to ignore.  I can’t explain it all, but it’s strangely comforting to know that the Loa of the Dead has got my back.   As we near his day, I can feel him, I can feel the Veil growing thin and my ancestors wanting to come for a visit.  To me it is comforting and far from scary.  Though, I must say, I feel that he has and will protect me until my death and most likely beyond, so, messing with me or my family, probably not a good idea.  I can hear him laughing as I write these words.  Mr. Nobody, turned out to be somebody after all.



Friday, October 25, 2013

GHOST ENCOUNTER CLASSIFICATION

WARNING:  Contains Difficult Subject Matter

     Paranormal Investigation has become very popular in today’s society.  When the practice first began it was largely from the point of view of the skeptical community.  I remember reading the Parapsychologist Handbook in the 1980's and it was very dry and scientific.  I think it's best to approach actual findings from a skeptics perspective, trying to debunk possible evidence is also part our jobs.  If you want to be taken seriously using the right equipment and clinical presentation are essential to presenting your evidence.  The presentation is often very different from the actual experience.  When you go to a location you will often find yourself in abandoned buildings, basements, ancient houses, 'lunatic asylum's,' attics, mines, ghost towns, the middle of bum fucking nowhere.  You need to be aware of your own safety issues in a very mortal way.  I live in an area where moose and bear do as well so being smart about wildlife is extremely important.  More frightening than the dead are the living, knowing your locations and what element of humanity use a location you want to investigate is key to your own safety.  Once you get past all the mortal 
dangers that might befall you, it's time to try and draw the ghosts out!  This process has many varying methods of trying to capture evidence.  It would  take someone with nerves of steel to NOT react to the things you have to do 
and the ghosts you have to interact with.
You have your equipment ready, your team, you've done your research, your interviews and you have finally arrived at your location.  Next you need to pick where you want to spend your time.   Night time is a much 
more quiet time with fewer living folks around which is why most investigations are done at night.   When you're going for interaction with an intelligent spirit recreating the conditions of when they are most active can increase likelihood of capturing evidence.  This means, lights off.    If you're easily frightened, this is not the job for you, your evp and camera evidence will be tainted with the screams of you running away like the Ghostbusters from the library.  
(WHAT NOT TO DO:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kj2bF8dDNs)
Your observations and classifications will be important to how you present your evidence.    I have several classifications that I use.  RESIDUAL ENERGY:  This form of energy is an imprint to the location you're investigation.  
Locations where violent deaths and horrible abuse or torture occurred very often hold the echoes of the past.  These echoes can be held in the building material like wood or stone, just as humans have 'muscle memory,' buildings 
can hold negative energy like an imprint.  At a molecular level atoms are filled with vast regions of empty space.  We exchange energy with everything we touch and are near at this microscopic level.  The fury of violence echoes through the victims, the families, the criminals, why not the earthen ground or stone?  When these sort of echoes are recorded, there is no intelligent interaction between the investigator and the energy captured on paranormal investigation equipment.  Energy such as long term patterns can be captured as well, it doesn't have to be anything unpleasant. It could be someone did the same thing every morning for forty years and you're catching the residual energy from their daily routine.  Houses, battlefields, hospitals hold memories, 
just as we do.
INTELLIGENT SPIRIT classification.  Benevolent Spirits are well meaning.  Many times they may be family that has passed too soon or that may just be staying to watch over their loved ones.  When I was a girl we inherited my grandmothers cat when she passed on.  The night after the cat had passed away, I was laying in bed crying and clear as day I heard him meow right next to my bed.  Another experience I had was the night my step-father died, my 
mother and I had the exact same dream of him coming to visit us and say goodbye before he moved on.  I found these experiences comforting and from reports that I've seen and read many others with similar stories have too.  While life after death tends to be a belief, even with paranormal evidence, I believe that we have a choice when we pass to move on quickly or remain earthbound.  
There is also the belief that when a soul violently leaves this world they are trapped until the perpetrator has been brought to justice.  I happen to disagree with that assessment due to an extremely personal life experience.  
2002 was the worst year of my life and I attempted to take my own life.  I did actually die for several minutes, but returned.  I learned many many things from this experience, but these are the experiences that are related to my 
conclusion about this particular type of haunting.    When I started to fade I remember leaving my body and being extremely happy about it.  What remained was something out of a nightmare that I only learned about through others after many days and years.  When they brought me into the emergency room, I was told, it took 6 men to restrain me.  At the time before the restraints were applied one of the orderlies lost control of my arm and I was on top of him, beating him as hard as I possibly could.  I truly have no memory of this to this day.  (I did get to apologize to guy later and he was alright)  Five days after I attempted suicide is when I can begin to recollect being aware of my surroundings.  At that time, I referred to it as when I actually 
came back to my body.  
         There's a concept in Shamanism, called 'Soul Loss' that says when you experience a trauma in your life, you loose apart of yourself.  It can be anything from a auto accident, the loss of a loved one, abuse, rape or even an over exuberant sneeze.  The piece of your soul that fractions off from you is the part that experienced the trauma.  This also helps explain how we block out memories of extreme trauma and abuse.  It's my believe that people that loose 
too many pieces of their soul will show the absence of one. Such as people like Jeffrey Dhamer, Charles Manson, and Aileen Wuornos, these are examples that I believe are very apparent just from looking at their eyes in photographs.  
Shamanism states that in order to be a whole person, you need to retrieve the pieces of yourself that you lost.
When I made the attempt to end my life, it's my understanding that what remained behind was the fury and ultimate despair that led me to take such an action.  The majority of my spirit that was ready to leave did so.  My 
recollections of the time I was away from my body are happy ones.  The actions of my body and spirit left behind was all the ugliness that I didn't feel able to deal with at the time, all the trauma from the events leading up to the actual attempt stayed behind as I tried to move on from it.  My essence didn't return for five days.   This is what I believe is left behind by spirits that actually do die, which can sometimes be residual spirits, but are often violent malevolent spirits.  It's why we can pick up on screams of the actual events where known murders or suicides have taken place.  The victims often separate from the events, leading to soul loss, letting the part of themselves that was benevolent and beautiful move on.  Unless they decide to stay, as I believe many do for a multiple of reasons such as to comfort family and let them know they're ok to stalking their killer in an attempt to seek justice.  The part that experienced the 
violence that stays behind may only be fury, anger, sadness. It doesn't mean  that persons spirit is any of those things as a whole, but only what they were in the terrible moment that took their life.  A fictional example that may help some wrap their head around the concept is the film, 'The Grudge.'  The ghost left behind is a vindictive and vengeful entity and I see it as only the lost part of the woman that was abused and eventually murdered.  As with most fictional representations it is widely exaggerated, but a good example none the less. Lost soul parts can be retrieved with the help of a trained Shaman.  Shamanic practices may originate as early as the Paleolithic, predating all organized religions, and certainly as early as the Neolithic period.
The worst kind of ghosts are malevolent spirits.  Often these are the spirit's of the most violent men and woman in our histories.  They are either trapped or afraid to move on for fear of after life repercussions.  If you died believing you're going to Hell, you might stick around too.  Another for of this type of haunting spirit may never have been human at all.  Just as many believe in protective and benevolent creatures that watch over them, the equal and opposite may also exist in many forms.  Obviously I believe it, so when 
observing and classifying certain things my terminology would reflect it.
Some paranormal investigators use provocation as a technique to obtaining evidence.  The best example being 'Ghost Adventures', I love these guys to pieces, AND they have had to deal with backlash in their personal lives 
from using this particular method themselves.  Using provocation is not an activity for beginners and novices.   There are consequences that you have to face for poking at the evil shit, if you don't know what you're doing, you're 
young, inexperienced or any combination thereof just don't do it.  Of course when I was all of those things I would have scoffed and done it anyway, so I know you're out there you little hooligans.  You think you're invincible because 
you're young, if you HAVE to be stupid try and least to be aware of you and your teams personal safety on all levels.  
Having a paranormal experience for some might be thrilling, but really, in the moment, it's often frightening. Fear and carelessness can get you killed and the last thing you want when you go ghost hunting, is to become one 
yourself out of sheer stupidity.    Preparation and proper research will help you to be aware of the site's dangers.  If it's possible to have someone that knows the building or the area you are in walk you through during the day it's extremely advisable to do so.  If you can't find anyone, at least do a day walk through before venturing into the location before dark.  In fact having everything set up before sundown will help you stay out of harmful situation.  

       When you encounter something that frightens out you may have little control over how you react,  that's the fight or flight response to get your ass to safety.  Knowing your location will keep accident's from happening, so be smart about it.  If you have camera's set up, just keep telling yourself not to freak out and run off like a little baby man because the whole world may have the pleasure of 
seeing it over and over and over and you will never live it down.  But than, it is fairly amusing to watch!
__________________________________________________

This video made by ABC re: suicide prevention: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1SbBw-JcQ4


Hanna McLean

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

PAGANISM VRS SATANISM

Witchcraft.  The word invokes so many different things and means drastically different things to different cultures.  The Romans were cruel Pagans and somewhat responsible for the rise of Christianity because of it.  Ancient Cultural Paganism is vastly different from Paganism today regardless of what some Neo-Pagans may claim.
One of the things that Christianity is famous for is adapting Pagan symbolism to villify past ancient Pagan practices. The woman and the snake is one of the very first Goddess images found, over 35,000 years ago, and was a representation of the Goddess and the phallis, symbolizing fertility.  There are few that don't know the story of Eve and many Christians today still blame women for 'original sin' because of it.  
Cats have always been a deeply mystical animal and often are familiars to witches, even today.  So what did the "church" do?  They convinced the European community that cats were actually the devil or demons that helped witches work with the devil.  They believed it so completely that when the Bubonic Plague hit in the middle ages people killed cats in the millions because they thought the "demons" were the ones spreading the disease. When in truth it was the rats. The best predators for rats, cats, were decimated only making the plague ten times worse because of silly superstition and ignorance.
The 8 Pagan Sabbats (not sabbaths) have been hijacked by Christianity, the Council of Nicaea having dictated 'doctrine' and set forth dates that closely cooresponded to Pagan holidays in order to convert the "simple country folk" to their way of thinking.  For Example:  All Hallow's Eve and The day of The Dead has been overrun with commercialized Halloween, not that I mind the chocolate.  Winter Solstice suddenly became Christmas.   The lamest and more recent tradition, though not religious, to be "replaced" is Imbolc, the mid-winter festival for the Goddess Bridgid, changed to Groundhog Day.  Oh and those wacky Catholics turned the Goddess Bridgid in a Saint Brigit for conversion purposes too.
Now, I'm going to let you in a 2000 year old secret so pay close attention.  Satanism is a Christian belief.  Satan. Lucifer. Scratch.  The Light Bringer.  Whatever you want to call him...  He was an angel.   The vast majority of neo-Pagans today that call themselves witch are, what ya know, PAGAN.  They don't believe in Christianity and therefore, they do not believe in Satan.  Christianity is 2013 years old. The very first Goddess figurines, referred to by the anthropological community as Venus figurines, have been found and carbon dated to approximately 35,000 years ago. 
Neo-Pagan's generally tend to be eco-friendly heathens with a love for nature, debauchery and sex that support animal rights and are unihibited by doctrine.  
Satanist, from what I've read, as I have NO IDEA personally, only value human life of those that they deem worthy and will often use animal ritual sacrifice.  Anton LeVay, (Howard Stanton Levey) the man that wrote the 'Satanic Bible' was a chronic liar, by his own admission, and a charlatan with a fake ID who was out to make a buck. It's a religion that caters to the cruel and completely opposite the nature loving Neo-Pagan movements of today.
WHAT THE HELL HAS ANY OF THIS TO DO WITH PARANORMAL INVESTIGATION you may ask!!?  It's important to know your stuff when you're classifying paranormal activity.  Especially if you wish to convey your findings in a scientific manner.  Personally, I'll collect the evidence and provide further findings of a less scientific meassure as well due to personal experience and belief and it's not uncommon for paranormal specialists to do just that. Just make sure you're aware of it.  Many traditional paranormal experts will scoff at psychic's and remote viewing though it has become a more accepted method in todays day and age.  How you present yourself and your findings will reflect back on you and your work.


Hanna McLean

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

PARANORMAL RESEARCH TIPS

One of the most important things that you have to do as a paranormal investigator is research.  Personally I love doing research, but I’m also a freak and many find it can be tedious.  Yesterday I found a ton of information about my area, Thunder Bay Ontario, AND the larger are of Canada and the US states:  Michigan, Minnesota and Wisconsin.  In fact the information I found was too vast to put on our web site and I crashed our whole site trying to add it.  Here are a few tips about research that might make your life a little easier.

It’s the age of the internet and heaven forefend anyone actually pick up a book, (gasp!!!) but you have to be willing to do many unspeakable things in the name of research!  The first step to researching an area should be 1) LOOK FOR LOCALLY WRITTEN BOOKS ABOUT YOUR AREA.  Obviously, books of poetry and works of fiction may not be very helpful in your endeavors, but if you have a chance to go to a library (IKR get up from your computer and MOVE!) look through them anyway.  You never know, there may be old maps, pictures of families that lived in the area.  One clue might be the key to finding the right location.   If you hit the jackpot and actually find books about haunted locations in your area, buy it, mark it up, keep it close and thank the author!!!

The next step isn’t a huge a leap.  2)  LOOK FOR BOOKS WRITTEN ABOUT ‘THE MOST HAUNTED PLACES’ IN YOUR STATE/PROVINCE, COUNTRY AND BOARDERING COUNTRIES.  You never know what you’ll find.  Generally you will find a large majority of your information on the internet these days, but don’t limit yourself to it.  If you live near the boarder of your country of residence you can extend your search to the country beside you.  For instance, Thunder Bay, Ontario, is very near the US boarder, so I included research about Michigan, Minnesota and Wisconsin in my research endeavors.  Plus, I grew up in Indiana and we vacationed in Michigan all the time.  One of my most favorite family memories is going to a place called ‘The Haunted Fort in Michigan, which was an actual haunted house that successfully sent my entire family stampeding out the door at the end, but the location was very old so it could also have true haunting as well’  3)  PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AND MEMORIES OF AREA.  The biggest pitfall of this one is that memory, as wonderful and horrifying as the brain can be, is extremely fallible.  Don’t rely on your brain to give you accurate facts, always follow up with research.

One of my favorite places in the world to explore is museums.  These places can also be a gateway to a treasure trove of knowledge.  4)  LOCAL MUSEUMS.  Inevitably, other organizations that you will want to contact will hover around the local museum community.  5)  LOCAL HISTORICAL SOCIETIES are generally filled with wonderfully knowledgeable people and will often have locations, artifacts, articles about the area that you will not find any where else.  Tea time, some scones and a friendly attitude may open up the mother load, so be gracious and be patient.

Your internet searches can also help you find organizations that may have more information than has been uploaded on the information highway.  There are buildings full of old tomes all over the world of history that hasn’t been uploaded, the more you’re willing to dig, the richer your experiences will become.  Below I’ve listed several things that will help you with your internet searches, but keep in mind you may have to do some leg work as well.

Before going to a location, make sure you do your homework and that means getting up to date information as well.  If the place you want to investigate is currently a crack den, probably not a good idea unless you have police back up.  You always want to know everything you can before going into an investigation.  If the property is old, it may not be safe for anyone to go poking around inside.  The last thing you want to have happen on a ghost hunt is to become one yourself.  Be smart, hunt safe!!
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1) LOOK FOR LOCALLY WRITTEN BOOKS ABOUT YOUR AREA.  

2)  LOOK FOR BOOKS WRITTEN ABOUT ‘THE MOST HAUNTED PLACES’ IN YOUR STATE/PROVINCE, COUNTRY AND BOARDERING COUNTRIES.

3)  PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AND MEMORIES OF AREA.

4)  LOCAL MUSEUMS

5)  LOCAL HISTORICAL SOCIETIES

6)  INTERNET SEACH
*WORD SEARCH 
*ANYTHING & EVERYTHING YOU CAN  THINK OF
*CEMETARIES, GRAVEYARDS, FAMILY PLOTS
        *CREAMATORIUMS
*GHOST TOWNS
*ABANDONED PLACES
*MARITIME HISTORY
*SHIPWRECKS
*MINES
*BATTLEFIELDS
*OLD FORTS
*HISTORICAL MARKERS
*HOSPITALS
*ASYLUMS
*SEMINARIES
*MENTAL HEALTH
*CRIMINALLY INSANE
*HOSPICE
*TERMINAL WARD
*MURDERS, ACCIDENTS
*BIRTH, MARRIAGE, DEATH RECORDS
*CASTLES
*PRISONS
*REFORMITORY
*ORPHANAGE
*EXECUTION LOCATIONS & ITEMS
*HISTORICAL CRIMINAL ACTIVITY
*LOCAL DISASTERS
*NEWSPAPER ARTICLES

7)  LOCAL COURTHOUSE ARCHIVES

8)  PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR LOCAL HAUNTED HAOUSES AROUND HALLOWEEN TIME, THEY OFTEN HAVE THEM IN ACTUAL HAUNTED LOCATIONS.

Hanna McLean

A FIELD GUIDE TO GHOST HUNTING IN THE WOODS

INTRODUCTION:  I got the idea to write this the day I suffered through watching 'The Blair Witch Project.'  I was one of the few that got motion sick from watching it and wow was that unpleasant.  Not dissing the film, as it was a milestone in film history when it comes to new ideas.  I wanted to make a 'mochumentary' called 'The Dumb Bitch Project' because the entire plot could have been avoided if none of them listened to the woman in the movie.  I've shared this with the 'Hitrecord' writing community and of course it was seen as a work of fiction and I didn't specify that it wasn't.  In truth though, I believe every word.   Hope you enjoy!
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My first advice is don’t be a cocky mother fucker.  If it’s a ghost that other people have vanished trying to interact with, just don’t freakin go.  Especially haunted asylums, haunted asylums are the worst.  But if you are the brave, if not a little stupid, ghost hunter of malevolent ghosts, be smart about it.  

Regular Camping Supplies.

Tent - Stakes - Hammer

Compass

Sewing Needle & Thread (Needle can be made into a make shift compass)

Physical Map (not on electrical device)

Twine

Rope

Red Fabric for marking

Rain Tarp - Wrap Around Tent

Sleeping Mat

Sleeping Bag Zero Degree

MRE’s - more than you need

WaterPills to purify water

Cell phone

Solar cell phone charger

Satellite Phone, preferable, yet also fucking expensive

Canteen

Handy Wipes

Waterless Hand Sanitizer

Hair Brush (If in large predator areas don’t bring your makeup, cosmetics smell pretty enough to eat)

Knife

1 or 2 towels

Waterproof Matches in zip lock bag

Lighter

First Aid Kit (made for the region:  poisonous snakes, spiders, etc)

12 Gauge Shot Gun IF you know how to use it.

Biggest Mag Light you can find, new batteries and change

Candles

Cardboard egg cartons, filled with lint and covered in a little wax, stored in a zip lock bag for dry kindling.

Biodegradable TP, platic bags for disposal, cause yes, it’s leaving with you.

Small camping pans and utensils.

Regular Camping Rules:

Tell people that are staying behind where you are going and when you will be back, DO NOT JUST LEAVE A NOTE.

Be Prepared

Be as non-invasive as possible to the environment

If using an existing fire pit, gather enough wood to leave for the next person, especially if it was left that way for you

Human Urine will repel most of nature, pee around the perimeter of your camp if  you’re in the middle of nowhere

If you build a fire pit, leave enough wood for the next person or unassemble it in the morning and fill it in.

Take your fucking trash with you

Bring your dog in the tent when it’s sleepy time

Make sure all your food, including dog food, is in sealed containers along with any toiletries that smell.

Zip Locks are a campers friend, just make sure they leave with you too.

Tie food & toiletries into a tree, out on a branch if there are a lot of critters around.  Plastic shopping bags work well enough, just don’t forget to take it with you.

If you still have a vehicle, leave food and toiletries inside this

Get your dog on a leash before you open the tent flap 

Beware of Raccoons, they like Little Debbie StarCrunch and will destroy tents for it.

If you hear something large outside your tent, shut up and don’t move, keep your dog quite.  Low growling is alright though, it lets them know they should stay away. Not being able to see what's in the tent will keep most creatures out.  Even if it’s just a large animal, they can hurt you.  I’ve been charged by a moose before, it’s a frightening thing.  

Mace can deter large animals as a last resort.  I’d still move as fast as you could away from them as soon as you do it.  

Seconds could be the difference between moose steak and your hospital bill or funeral.

Bears do not run downhill well.  If you see one, best not to move until you know what kind it is and attempt to move away slowly.  Polar bears and Grizzlies will kill you, mother bears will kill you, climb a tree they can't easily knock over or run downhill like a mother fucker.   Some people may tell you to roll into a ball and play dead.  With grizzlies and polars, you’re fucked, personally I’d rather go down fighting.  If you act like a big predator there’s a small chance they will leave you alone.  It Doesn’t matter where you are, most creatures will act cautiously if you show them your crazy.

On a slightly side note.  If you’re combating humans, a human or trying to run and hide in the woods, do not use a light source.   Let your eyes get used to the darkness and than move slowly if at all.  Bury yourself in leaves in a random spot.  Do unexpected things.  

One Big Ass Dog.  If you don’t have a dog, bring someone that does.

Dog Back Pack

Food

Bowl

Treats

Leash

Dog Brush

Hunters Orange Bandana around their neck

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When you know or suspect you’re going to find a malevolent ghost.

Digital Camera, Video and Still.

Digital Voice Recorder for EVP.

Salt.

Sage.

Faith.

Depending on beliefs, religious/ spiritual jewelry

Atheists Not Recommended

Critters usually leave a place that’s haunted

So don’t plan on getting food from hunting.

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Ghost Hunting Rules

Rule Number 1:  Do not let a dumb bitch that has no idea how to navigate lead you anywhere, let alone into a dangerous situation in the woods.

Rule Number 2:  Do not use electronic devices as your only source of navigation or light

Rule Number 3:  Always carry a sharp knife when you go into the woods

Rule Number 4:  Take someone with you that has been or is in the military.

Rule Number 5:  Your ever faithful canine companion can sense, hear and see things you cannot.  Trust them and protect them.  Get them on a leash when shit starts getting weird or it starts getting dark.

Rule Number 6:  Make a perimeter protective circle around your tent, well before sun down.  Include a large area, so that when you go to tinkle it’s included in the area.    Do this and make sure no one steps outside of it, no one should go missing.

Rule Number 7:  Have someone with a strong faith or spirituality bless the perimeter.  Use the sage.  Use the salt.  (Be careful with the sage if it’s extremely dry, I would recommend an incense holder on chains and a cone incense, so the sparks cannot catch the loose leaf on fire.  In the wrong climate, one burning ember can be devastating.  So be aware of the level of fire danger.

Rule Number 8:  If you’re at a camp ground where there are facilities, go when there are other people there or make a group trip before sleep.  Ghosts, poltergeist, etc don’t tend to care for being around the living and rarely haunt outhouses.

Rule Number 9:  Get the fire going before night fall.  Burn it hot and bright at first so that there are always hot coals in the fire pit.  If it’s raining, use the tarp to hold over yourself and the kindling/wood while you make it.  There is always dry kindling to be found if you're around trees, you may have to dig for it, but it's there.  Pine cones make great kindling.

Rule Number 10:  If you hear your friend screaming for help… It’s almost inhuman to say do not run toward the screaming  If you can keep yourself from blindly running into the woods It’s a really good idea. Arm yourself first and stay together, than go after it.

Rule Number 11:  Unbelievers.  If there are no such thing as ghosts, be quiet, pay attention and be respectful.  Do your job and go home.  Be prepared to be wrong and if you are, don’t freak the fuck out.  You can rationalize it later.

Rule Number 12:  Keep your wits about you no matter what happens.  This is true in any situation.  Panic will only make a situation worse.  

Rule Number 13:  Bring prerecorded exorcism, spirit cleansing, whatever works for you.  Though don’t let anything electronic be your beat all, end all plan.  They often go on the fritz around spirits.

Rule Number 14:  If malevolent ghosts DO exist, combat them with the opposite emotions:  Laughter, happiness.  

Rule Number 15:  Never go anywhere alone.  (Outside of protective perimeter) 

Don’t forget to be smart, don’t go into ruined buildings with ruined floors, you’re more likely going to end up with a broken leg or neck.  If you are so determined to find something that you disregard your safety and those around you, whatever could go wrong, already has.The truth is that no one understand exactly what might cause the phenomenon of ghosts.  Sure it could be the spirits of the dead.  Maybe they’re just stories.  Many think that the ones that are filled with rage and hate are the pieces or echo’s of events that stay behind when someone is murdered.   Perhaps it is even explainable within a science that we haven’t yet discovered.  Many times it has been reported to have been the puberty stricken teen that is causing telekinetic occurrences in the home, subconsciously hurting the ones they blame for issues or horrific abuse.  

I’m a believer.  I don’t need specific answers myself, I just leave myself open to the Universe to teach me what it likes or to show me what it sees.  I like the fact that we don’t know everything, it keeps life interesting.

In Shamanism there is a term they use, called ‘Soul Loss.’  It happens during traumatic events:  car accidents, the death of a loved one, even relocating to a new home or job, it could even be a particularly exuberant sneeze.  We loose pieces of ourselves as we go along.  Those pieces can manifest in many ways, but often there is a feeling of emptiness like there is something missing there.  It’s advised that you try to retrieve them.  I believe that’s behind the angrier ghosts out there.  Perhaps it is the piece of themselves they could not survive so they separate it and leave it behind.  We have been known to completely block out the memories that are too painful to remember, perhaps it is the lost parts of our soul that are too horrific bear.  Have you ever looked into the eyes of someone who seemed to have no soul?  I think soul loss plays it’s part there too.

In the end whatever the cause of the manifestation, in general, they are consumed by anger, fear, fury, that is all they know and all they will ever be.    You can combat them with strong happy memories of those you love, laughing at them.  Do the opposite of what the thing might expect and cover your ass with jewelry, symbols, even pictures of loved ones.  If you appear strong in the face of horror, it may show them a horror of their own.   It’s possible that if you laugh at them, that they could just become more angry and kill everyone, but as far as I know there is no evidence that anyone has ever been murdered by a ghost, unless it was freight and a heart attack.   I’m only speaking of the malevolent spirits here.  I know of many people that have been ‘visited’ by loved ones when they die, before they know they’re dead.  There can be protective spirits as well, the types of ghosts are many.

Let me be the first to admit that I can easily start drowning in fear once it rears it’s head, it’s not easy to combat.  Especially if it’s dark, you don’t know where you are or where anyone else is and creepy ass shit is going down.  So you can say things like, oh yeah, I got this, noooooo problem.  But when shit gets real and it looks like Casper is opening his mouth of razor sharp teeth right on your ass, well, even the GhostBusters had their rough days.  The fact is when you are in a dangerous situation, if you don’t keep your wits about you, no matter what is happening, you’re more likely to make a mistake that could cost you and others their lives.  So keep it together and be the hero, have your creepy experience and get the fuck out!

Hanna McLean

GHOST HUNTERS GUIDE TO THE UNIVERSE

As a paranormal investigator I have to remain a skeptic as I attempt to record evidence of unexplained paranormal activity.  Often when I’m looking at other investigators work I find very little validity in what they’re saying or showing.  Unfortunately the paranormal world seems to attract fakes like asylums attract ghosts, which only hurt those organizations that stay true to their investigations.  Fortunately for the paranormal community there is at least one group out there that offers honest findings and a sincere approach to their work in the Travel Channel’s ‘Ghost Adventures.’
I wear many hats in life and have been a life long student of the paranormal.  I’ve studied the occult & spirituality for 30+ years always finding more questions than answers.  It’s the mysteries in life that drive me to want to see more, experience more, learn more.  Delving into the unknown has proven to show many different perspectives and conclusions.  Religion, psychology, spiritual practices, science, they all offer maps of existence for our contemplation, they guide us to our own ideas.
One true belief that has grown to a life philosophy for me is that the more open I remain to ‘The Universe,’ the more it chooses to show and teach me.  I’m also a big believer in Jung’s ideas of the subconscious mind and archetypal imagery.  I call myself a Jungian Wiccan Techno Heathen, Church of One.  I believe in the positive power of nature and the positive power of technology.  I prefer the country to the city.  For me Wicca is about the tides of the Earth and our connection to it.  The holidays are marked in season and mid-season with no specific doctrine to weigh down my beliefs.  As I see it, it’s actually a very tangible belief system as I can see it and touch it, it makes sense for me.
I believe that there are many things that humanity does not understand and that this life is about exploration, learning important lessons, enlightenment and compassion.  I believe that there are other entities in The Universe, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that there is ’Someone’ out there looking out for me.  So in a way I consider myself an Atheist or Agnostic, depending on how those concepts are defined.  However, I also use the imagery and ideas that I connect with as a way to experience my Spiritual connection to The Universe.  For instance,  I feel very drawn to Quan Yin, the Bodhisattva of Compassion in the Buddhist philosophy.  So I study her, I meditate on her, I find the things that draw me to her within myself and explore the why’s and wherefore’s to give myself a better idea of my connection to the Universe.  What I don’t believe is that there is an actual deity on ‘the other side’ that sits an listens to my prayers called Quan Yin, that looks Asian in descent, and cares for me.
Religion and Spirituality are directly influenced by the environment and culture in which they exist.  In the anthropology of religion there is a concept called ‘alienation.’  In this context, what that means is that we created ‘God/dess’s’ and than promptly forgot that we did so.  So the Gods look like we look, they act as we do, because it helps us to relate to the Universe on our terms, in a way that we can understand it.  Some belief systems are more archaic while other have become considered more acceptable in different areas of the world.  All of them, in my opinion, are maps to our understanding of the Universe, but none of them are “THE ONLY WAY.” like many ‘organized religions’ claim to be.
Paranormal investigation is based on science.  The instruments and the way that the evidence is presented is meant to be very clinical and was developed by skeptics.  This lends validity to the findings for all involved and it’s an extremely important aspect of the investigative process.  As with everything, it’s also evolved into many different aspects in today’s world.  It’s very difficult for an investigator to not influence the terminology of the evidence with their own belief systems.  For instance, (huge fan of these guys) ‘Ghost Adventures’ crew is largely Christian in their terminology when they explain the aspects of their investigations.  It’s a known construct for the audience that they’re catering to and seems to be the main belief for the three main investigators.  This does also seem to be the personal side of how they experience their investigations.  Personally I don’t see things in terms of Heaven and Hell, demons and angels.  I do understand and visualize similar paths for ‘souls’, but in a way marked more toward the karmic explanations.  I do believe that evil exists and that some entities can be classified as “demon“, which to me is an entity that has never been human and something that feeds off the energy of fear, hate, violence.
Yes, I’m a believer.  That won’t stop me from presenting instrumental findings in a scientific manner, it just means that I’ll embellish my findings further with personal experience and belief.  When coming to conclusions about scientific evidence it still has to be presented in a way that can be understood and respected by the skeptics out there.  That’s what all the wonderful gadgets in today’s day and age are for, so we can capture evidence that proves or disproves the idea that the paranormal does exist or doesn’t exist.
Paranormal investigators all start off their journey’s for many different reasons.  I’ve been experiencing paranormal activity all my life.  I had an ‘imaginary friend’ that wasn’t so imaginary.  My sister that passed before I was born has been a constant companion for me.  It’s her presence on the other side that makes me believe that my psychic and dreaming gifts are enhanced by her.  My experiences have been deeply personal and have led me to my Gifts, Spiritual beliefs, my areas of study, my passion for the unexplained and mysterious and brought me to my present endeavors in paranormal investigation.
What I know for certain is that I will never fake evidence, lie about my findings or stage fake experiences for ratings.  I have no ratings!!!  This is a promise from me to you, that my findings will be presented honestly and that I’ll be very clear about the line between what I believe and what I can prove.

Co-Founder of The Purple Phantasm
Thunder Bay, Ontario Paranormal Investigations
http://thepurplephantasm.wix.com/thepurplephantasm

Hanna McLean